Natural Born Sinners

Here we go again. The BBC has once again tried to come to terms with Scotland’s Calvinist past. Natural Born Sinners was broadcast in September of this year and, whilst there were some nods in the direction of the positive side of Calvinism, education and egalitarianism apparently being the good offspring of Scots Calvinism, the programme continued to perpetuate and feed the ignorance that our populace in general and our ‘educated’ sophisticates in particular seem to thrive on.

Fife – the bastion of Calvinism
Jack Vettriano, the painter, described himself as a hedonist and sensation seeker who grew up in Methil in Fife in the 1950’s, which apparently was a bastion of Calvinism – although we have yet to come across a Calvinistic Fifer of any description, let alone one from Methil!
According to our expert in Calvinism, Calvin taught that ‘making love is fornication’. This immediately caused me to wonder how all the children in our congregations arrived. Were they all a result of the stork, or sin? This may be shocking but most Calvinists love making love. We rejoice in the gift of human sexuality and have been known occasionally to, in moments of wild passionate outbursts, even give our spouses a peck on the cheek. It is, however, true that we regard the cheapening of the God-given gift of sex into the sexual promiscuity and lust of so much of contemporary culture, as debasing, degrading and harmful. The ever increasing rise of STD’s, abortions, sexual abuse and broken lives would suggest that we might have a point in believing that the Maker knows best about human sexuality.

Where are all the Calvinists?
What was most intriguing about this program was that there were no Calvinists taking part. Which prompts the question as to whether the BBC would make a programme about any other group without letting any of that group speak for themselves? Maybe the BBC thought we were all dead or unable to communicate? Perhaps we might frighten the tourists or the decent hedonists of our Scottish glitterati? Is that why the only images of Calvinists were pictures of black and white churches from the 1950’s, and Ricki Fulton and Stanley Baxter representing the real Calvinists? Having Rev. W.E. Free and Rev. I.M. Jolly represent Calvinists is as ridiculous and offensive as having Little Black Sambo and the Black and White Minstrels represent the African American community in a programme on racism.

Kirsty’s finger-pointing
Another example of how the great and good just don’t get it was Kirsty Wark, returning to her hometown church of Crossford. According to Kirsty, congregations have been coming to Crossford church for many years – to give thanks for a fruitful harvest and to receive an ear bashing for their many failings. Ms Wark declared: 'I like that part but I don't like the judgmental part...Calvinism was about pointing the finger.’ But if Ms Wark grew up in a church which was about pointing the finger, then it was not a Calvinistic church. That is a legalistic moralism which Calvin would abhor. The great emphasis of Calvin (and of the Bible) is the sovereign saving grace of Christ. Calvin’s finger points to the work and person of Christ. It is clear that Ms Wark, who is normally so thorough in her research, knows nothing about Calvinism.

Calvin and Scottish Football
If Kirsty Wark was sloppy, what followed was hilarious in its inanity. Apparently John Knox and John Calvin are to blame, amongst other things, for the failings of the Scottish football team in Argentina in 1978, Sir Alex Ferguson, Annie Lennox, Andy Murray and Gordon Brown. As another expert in Calvinism, the football commentator Dougie Donnelly, opined, ‘John Calvin has a lot to answer for.’ It really does boggle the mind that on the day of judgment the Frenchman Jean Calvin is going to be arraigned for, amongst other sins, Scotland’s failure to win the World Cup in 1978!

Let’s take a brief look at some of the other bloopers stated in the programme.

Calvinism is 'dark, dour and all about self-discipline’ – Clearly stated by someone who has never read The Institutes.

‘You will not go to heaven, you are bound for Hell.’ Yes. If it were not for the saving action and grace of Christ. This is the teaching of all Christian churches and of the Bible.

‘The English got away with Anglicanism, warm, wooly and “more sherry, vicar?”...the Scots got presbyterianism, hard pews, long sermons and John Knox, Calvin's disciple who pulled the plug on fun in Scotland. John Knox's ministers policed communities, woe betide anyone who looked like they might be enjoying themselves…’.

This accusation is not backed up by a shred of evidence. Of course it all depends what one means by enjoyment. I recall one young man asking me why wasn’t I enjoying myself, as he threw up all over the floor before passing out into a comatose state. If that’s enjoyment, you can keep it! This theological Brigadoon version of Scottish history, whereby the fun-loving Scottish peasants were merrily dancing around, copulating, and getting drunk until the nasty John Knox came and made us all miserable bunch of sexually repressed (but still drunk) joyless puritans, is worthy only of a Horrible Histories style caricature of Scotland. It should not be given credence by any thinking person (assuming there are such creatures left in our culture).

‘According to Calvin we are not put on earth to enjoy ourselves; life is about education, work and self-discipline.’ Three X’s again. Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. On this earth as well as in the life to come.

‘In Calvin's opinion, man is born in sin’. And in Augustine’s, Paul’s and Jesus’.

‘Scotland has a lot of natural beauty, but John Calvin did not take time to find out. It wasn't scenery he was after, it was the minds of these natural born sinners.’ Perhaps the BBC should have borne in mind that these were the years BE (Before Easyjet). Calvin did not come to Scotland, and as far as we know the Internet and digital photography were not invented. Besides which, wanting people to think and to appreciate beauty are not necessarily opposites.

Reasons to be prejudiced
Why are we subjected to this kind of prejudice?

Firstly, it is the typical Scottish trait of blame shifting: the ‘it wisnae me’ philosophy. So whether we lose at football, can’t play music, or don’t smile hilariously every time we win a tennis point, it must have been John Knox or John Calvin.

Secondly, it is a symptom of our ignorance. We don’t know our history, theology or philosophy, and we have, in our dumbed-down culture, largely lost the ability to think rationally and cogently about anything outwith our immediate experience.

Thirdly, it is based upon an element of truth. There is a depressive and gloomy side to the Scots personality – but that has far more to do with the weather than it does with John Calvin. The Wee Book of Calvin by Bill Duncan captures this brilliantly. It is Calvinism without Christ: the darkness, doom and depression of popular caricature. But Calvinism without Christ is like fish ‘n’ chips without the fish, or the chips – just vinegar. We also, in good Calvinistic fashion, have to confess our sin in the Church. Sometimes I have been to church meetings, presbyteries and Assemblies where Christ has hardly been mentioned. It is little wonder that so many of our gatherings reflect the joyless misery of the caricatured Calvinism.

And finally, Calvinism is actually very good at exposing human frailty and weakness – something which our modern ‘positive thinking’ gurus are reluctant to face up to. Calvinism is, after all, nothing but the teaching of the Word of God, and the Word of God shines like a light and exposes our sin and weakness. However, this no more means that Calvinism creates that sin and weakness than taking an X-ray for cancer means that you are creating the cancer. It just exposes it.

The Cure
But Calvinism does not stop with exposing human sin. It only diagnoses the disease so that we can find the cure. Human beings destroy, but Christ saves, restores and renews. In emphasizing the weakness of humanity, the Bible does not condemn us, but instead drives us to seek Christ – a Christ whose beauty and glory is beyond compare and whose willingness to save is beyond question. In our broken society we don’t need less of the Healer, we need more. We don’t need less education and knowledge, we need more of the Logos. We don’t need more of the inane cheap and sick ‘humour’ of Little Britain, we need more of the joy of the Lord. Scotland (and Britain/the UK/Europe/the world) needs more Calvinism (Biblical teaching) not less. All of us, whether Scots or not, are natural born sinners, in need of a divine born Saviour. Thank the Lord that the Bible demonstrates we have one.